Oh Boy...

Tomorrow I'm going on my first date with this guy that I think I'm really starting to like.

That being said, I'm starting to wonder if he likes me back. I think I'm the one who cares more in this case, and I don't like the way that feels. Maybe I'm not pretty enough, maybe I'm just too weird, maybe I talk too much, I don't know.

I'm just scared that I'm going to get hurt this time.

Keep it real readers.

Spastic Overthinking

Do you ever like someone, or at least think you might like someone, but you don't want to jinx it by doing anything stupid like thinking about it or telling anyone?

That's me.

I think I like someone, but at the same time I still haven't really made up my mind about the situation, but in case it can turn into something extraordinary, I'm trying to just play it cool and keep the lines of communication open and I'm trying to be a little flirtatious about it without being over the top.

The thing is, there's a chance that I think he might be into me too, but he's pretty inexperienced at this whole part of the human experience, and I think he might still be hung up on one of my best friends (which I can't blame him, she's totally awesome and beautiful).

I'm just being a spastic little girl over this.

I need a man's advice.

Keep it real readers.

Letting A Little Math Get In The Way

Last week I had a HORRIBLE day at work. It was so awful, I actually considered quitting my job and leaving finding a new one to chance. It was truly awful.

Then I remembered a few days previous I actually had prayed that I would have some sort of an experience to boost me in a direction. I really don't want to work in retail forever. Hell, I don't even want to take a semester off to work in retail. I want to graduate from college and actually do something that matters.

I want to teach Chemistry. I was just scared off by Calculus, and I let one stupid math class get in the way of my dream.

So I bought a huge Princeton Calculus study guide that goes into detail how to do everything that has to do with it, and I registered for class next semester. I'm taking the bane of my existence and one other class that is a prerequisite for my program.

I don't take my job seriously enough to actually do it for the rest of my life.

Yahoo Chat is hilarious. Just sayin'.

Keep it real readers.

Ch-ch-changes

Well, after two weeks of failure, restarting, and ultimately starving to the point of delirium, I gave up HCG. I realized that I respond much better to interventions like eating more vegetables and less cheese along with regular exercise rather than radical dieting and further starvation. This is my first real attempt at dieting, and I have to admit I'm impressed I lasted this long.

So I had a bean burrito for dinner, and it was quite possibly the single most delicious burrito I've ever had.

However, given my family history of straight-up s**t health, I have committed to some major changes in my life:

1: No more candy

2: No more soda--except the occasional diet soda.

3: Much less baked goods (i.e. Bread, cake, cookies, etc.)

4: EXERCISE! I respond well to jogging.

All in all, doable if you ask me.

Now I want to talk about something else: Men.

As most people who are familiar with me know, I'm not really the kind of girl who is good at getting into relationships. It just doesn't happen for me. I'm good at dating and flirting and casual activities, but I'm horrible at committing. I don't like the idea of it, especially at my young age. I'm only 22. I have the rest of my life to be married.

Tid-bit time: I can't say "I love you" to someone I'm involved with. I've never been able to feel like I would mean it. Saying it is a big deal to me. However, I can openly say it to my friends and family all the time.

I know. It's weird.

I just felt like I should bring that up because I've gotten a little crap lately for being persistently single.

Geek boy update: He hasn't tried to contact me in five days. I hope he's met someone who can love him back.

Keep it real readers.

Five Days In

As some of you know, I've started the HCG diet. It's five days in, and that means I've finished my two days of delicious fat-loading, and I have now been living on a strict, less-than-500-calorie diet for three whole days. I have to say, I miss food. I literally crave everything from peanut butter and jelly to Caesar salad to cheese to pizza to hot dogs.

I've never been so miserable in my entire life. I miss eating. I'm so hungry I wonder if my stomach has begun eating itself.

I admit it. I'm weak.

However, I paid a lot of money for this, and I'll be damned if I cheat and mess this up. I hate wasting money.

On the bright side, I can happily say I've lost seven whole pounds. Go me!

I even bought outfits to shrink into, and so help me, they will fit!

Keep it real readers.

Focusing On New Things

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love FOOD. My whole life revolves around what I could potentially put in my mouth.

However, in a desperate attempt to get off of my necessary medications, and eventually get back into running, my old hobby from high school, I'm starting the famous HCG diet with my mother. I'm even going die-hard and taking the shots instead of using the pansy drops.

After two days of eating as much fat as possible, I feel like grease is coming out of my pores, and I'm actually looking forward to my 41 days of eating 500 calories comprised of fat-free, tightly portioned meat and vegetables.

Moving on...

A few days ago I got back from an amazing trip to Phoenix with my mom and younger brother. I bought some great stuff for my room at IKEA, as well as a couple of outfits that I can shrink into.

I celebrated my birthday by eating tons of free birthday food and barbecue, along with shopping and bra-fitting my aunt.

Great trip.

Great summer.

Keep it real readers.