Readers, my heart is heavy.
Today I'm on the tail end of the best night's sleep I've had in weeks. It was amazing. I went to bed around 11:30 and when my alarm went off at 8 am, I was awake and ready to face the day.
A few days ago I went shopping with my mom for extra plates and my veil, and let's just say while at the end of the day we got everything we set out to get, the means did not justify the end.
I was just focusing on what we were setting out to get that day, but my mom started asking me about things that either A) were Skyler's responsibility, or B) were going to be focussed on later this week. After only so much, my patience began to wear thin, and after so explaining one of the forementioned reasons I wasn't worrying about a specific wedding-related subject, finally I started snapping at my mom, and that turned into a little bit of yelling. She just wilted after that.
I felt awful. I couldn't believe I was so awful to my mom. She actually told me she didn't want to talk to me for a few days. I don't blame her.
16 more days.
Keep it real readers.
The random, often far-too-honest ramblings of everyone's favorite "chicken".
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
The Lower End of the 20's
Readers, it is offically 25 days until I become Karen Gubler.
I'm so excited! I love Skyler so much, and everything about him makes me so happy. His nicknames for me, the way he can always make me smile, the way he knows exactly what I'm thinking, his honesty, the way he smells, everything about him. When I see his face when I mess up and hurt him, it kills me. I've never cared about another person's feelings like I care about his. All I want is to make him happy. I want his happiness more than anything.
I got my dress to zip, which is freakin' awesome. My waist looks so tiny in it! I had Robert snap a picture of me in it so I could send it to my bridesmaids, and I just can't believe how beautiful it is. Furthermore, I can't believe how much weight I've lost. I don't feel that much different. I mean, I feel lighter, and my knee that used to bother me doesn't hurt anymore, but seeing myself every day, it's hard to notice a difference day to day. I actually had to compare it to a picture from December to see the difference. Sure my pants are looser, my shirts are looser, I had to buy smaller bras, but I haven't noticed the day-to-day. Customers left and right are telling me they see the difference and tell me I look great. I just see the love handles that are still there.
Anyway, I'm just waiting on the last two dresses and one more pair of shoes to show up, then everyone will have their outfits for the big day.
I'm so excited to be married to my best friend!
Keep it real readers.
I'm so excited! I love Skyler so much, and everything about him makes me so happy. His nicknames for me, the way he can always make me smile, the way he knows exactly what I'm thinking, his honesty, the way he smells, everything about him. When I see his face when I mess up and hurt him, it kills me. I've never cared about another person's feelings like I care about his. All I want is to make him happy. I want his happiness more than anything.
I got my dress to zip, which is freakin' awesome. My waist looks so tiny in it! I had Robert snap a picture of me in it so I could send it to my bridesmaids, and I just can't believe how beautiful it is. Furthermore, I can't believe how much weight I've lost. I don't feel that much different. I mean, I feel lighter, and my knee that used to bother me doesn't hurt anymore, but seeing myself every day, it's hard to notice a difference day to day. I actually had to compare it to a picture from December to see the difference. Sure my pants are looser, my shirts are looser, I had to buy smaller bras, but I haven't noticed the day-to-day. Customers left and right are telling me they see the difference and tell me I look great. I just see the love handles that are still there.
Anyway, I'm just waiting on the last two dresses and one more pair of shoes to show up, then everyone will have their outfits for the big day.
I'm so excited to be married to my best friend!
Keep it real readers.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
30 Days
So much can happen in 30 days readers. In 30 days I'm going to be a married woman. In a mere 30 days last summer I went from being single to being in a committed relationship. 30 days can change everything.
I'm SO EXCITED!!!
Anyway, on the way to school this morning Rob and I ran out of gas. We were a mere feet from a gas station, when Rob announced that he forgot his phone, and we had to turn around and get it. We made it home, back down our street, and about 50 feet down the next street before we ran out. If Rob had remembered his phone, we would have made it, and we would have been on time for school. Bleh.
Oh well. It happens.
My wedding dress came on Monday, and as you know, I ordered a size and a half too small, in hopes that I would shrink the 4 1/2 inches to fit into it.
One word. Almost. It is literally 1 inch too tight in one little place, around my ribs right under my boobs. Talk about frustrating. So I hopped online and ordered a corset that goes up to right under my bust that'll cinch up everything the inch I need.
I'm SO EXCITED!!!
Anyway, on the way to school this morning Rob and I ran out of gas. We were a mere feet from a gas station, when Rob announced that he forgot his phone, and we had to turn around and get it. We made it home, back down our street, and about 50 feet down the next street before we ran out. If Rob had remembered his phone, we would have made it, and we would have been on time for school. Bleh.
Oh well. It happens.
My wedding dress came on Monday, and as you know, I ordered a size and a half too small, in hopes that I would shrink the 4 1/2 inches to fit into it.
One word. Almost. It is literally 1 inch too tight in one little place, around my ribs right under my boobs. Talk about frustrating. So I hopped online and ordered a corset that goes up to right under my bust that'll cinch up everything the inch I need.
Other than that, it's beautiful. It's everything I could have dreamed of. It's tea-length, sweet, and adorable. Utter perfection.
Like I said, perfection.
I'm so excited. Dr. Seuss once said that true happiness is marrying your best friend. Well, I'm happy to say I am. We went from indifferent acquaintances to slightly annoyed at one another's existence, to friends, to special friends, to best friends, and now we're literally going to be best friends forever.
Only 30 more days. :)
Keep it real readers, and don't forget to be awesome.
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Crappy Night
Well readers, last night I was tossing and turning, unable to sleep. I just laid there, and I began to get more and more inside my own head.
I hate that feeling. I started picking apart little things about me. I started feeling like how much I hate my body. I really do. I hate the squishy parts, the lumps and bumps, the bruises, even my scars. I hide it all under layers and layers of clothing. Tons of makeup. Silly glasses. Feet upon feet of hair. A loud laugh and big words. I use it all to hide...me.
I am so scared for May. I won't have all my layers of clothes. I won't have my makeup. I won't really have my big words, and at some points I won't have my glasses. Or my laugh. I will be naked in every possible way. I can't even fathom how that will make me feel. I can't hide from someone I'll sleep right next to. Hopefully he'll take out his contacts and he won't be able to see me.
That made me wake up in a foul mood. Very foul. I wore a bag of a shirt to work and wore my hair down to work.
I hate nights like that.
Keep it real readers. May your nights be better than mine was last night.
I hate that feeling. I started picking apart little things about me. I started feeling like how much I hate my body. I really do. I hate the squishy parts, the lumps and bumps, the bruises, even my scars. I hide it all under layers and layers of clothing. Tons of makeup. Silly glasses. Feet upon feet of hair. A loud laugh and big words. I use it all to hide...me.
I am so scared for May. I won't have all my layers of clothes. I won't have my makeup. I won't really have my big words, and at some points I won't have my glasses. Or my laugh. I will be naked in every possible way. I can't even fathom how that will make me feel. I can't hide from someone I'll sleep right next to. Hopefully he'll take out his contacts and he won't be able to see me.
That made me wake up in a foul mood. Very foul. I wore a bag of a shirt to work and wore my hair down to work.
I hate nights like that.
Keep it real readers. May your nights be better than mine was last night.
Sunday, April 03, 2011
Incredulous
That is the word I am using to describe my feelings about life right now. Incredulous.
Yesterday was awesome. I started out the day with my karate test, which I think I did pretty well at. Then I ran home to shower so I could tutor one of my mom's students in geometry.
After that, my mother and I ventured out to the church distribution store, where we picked out my temple dress. That's right readers, I officially have my dress for the temple. The dress I am actually going to get married in. It's just so crazy that I saw it, I tried it on, and I knew that was the one. It has a collar, and buttons, and it is so me I couldn't believe it. After that we headed over to Morgan Jewelers to look at wedding bands for Skyler. I was listening to the salesmen go on about diamonds and gold, but something was drawing me down the counter. That's when I saw it. A shiny cobalt band with a black stripe. I asked to see it, and I knew I found it. My husband's wedding ring. I wasn't planning on it, but I bought it right there. It ended up being almost half price.
After a movie date with my mom, I headed over to Skyler's to show him the spoils of my adventures.
He told me the ring I got was the one he actually really wanted, and he tried it on when he was buying mine. Then we got down to business and began working on our love nest. As he was painting the bedroom closet, I was putting down the first coat in the living room.
At one point I was turning to put more paint on my roller, and I watched him as he was doing some edge work. I just thought, "Wow, that's him. That's my guy," as I smiled to myself.
39 more days until we're married. I just can't believe how fast time has gone by. I can't believe someone can feel so much love for another person. I am in awe of him.
Well readers, I have to go hop in the shower so I can go over to my honey's house.
Keep it real, and don't forget to be awesome.
Yesterday was awesome. I started out the day with my karate test, which I think I did pretty well at. Then I ran home to shower so I could tutor one of my mom's students in geometry.
After that, my mother and I ventured out to the church distribution store, where we picked out my temple dress. That's right readers, I officially have my dress for the temple. The dress I am actually going to get married in. It's just so crazy that I saw it, I tried it on, and I knew that was the one. It has a collar, and buttons, and it is so me I couldn't believe it. After that we headed over to Morgan Jewelers to look at wedding bands for Skyler. I was listening to the salesmen go on about diamonds and gold, but something was drawing me down the counter. That's when I saw it. A shiny cobalt band with a black stripe. I asked to see it, and I knew I found it. My husband's wedding ring. I wasn't planning on it, but I bought it right there. It ended up being almost half price.
After a movie date with my mom, I headed over to Skyler's to show him the spoils of my adventures.
He told me the ring I got was the one he actually really wanted, and he tried it on when he was buying mine. Then we got down to business and began working on our love nest. As he was painting the bedroom closet, I was putting down the first coat in the living room.
At one point I was turning to put more paint on my roller, and I watched him as he was doing some edge work. I just thought, "Wow, that's him. That's my guy," as I smiled to myself.
39 more days until we're married. I just can't believe how fast time has gone by. I can't believe someone can feel so much love for another person. I am in awe of him.
Well readers, I have to go hop in the shower so I can go over to my honey's house.
Keep it real, and don't forget to be awesome.
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