First off, Sky went out of town for a family reunion, and that's when things got weird.
I went to Peach Days with Sky's best friend so I could have someone to hang out with and he could enjoy some female company. The night ended weird. I don't really want to talk about the events of that night, but just trust me when I say it ended weird. We're still dealing with the weirdness.
Later that night Sky and I had a really important conversation, and I felt closer to him than I'd ever felt to anyone.
He came back today and we got to spend some time together. Unfortunately we weren't alone. I never feel like we get to be alone. It sucks. The night consisted of awkward glances at Sky's friend while trying to be close to my man. He's been sick, so that marks day nine with no goodnight kiss.
After telling him my exciting news (announcing I was ready to start Karate) and talking a little bit more we said our good nights to one another, I called after him and said four words I can't take back.
"I love you, Skyler."
He turned around and just said "Wow."
He later texted me and said it was a good thing, and that he never expected to hear that from a girl, but not before I had a complete panic attack in my Subaru on the way home.
Sky's friend then texted me and asked me if I was sure I was happy with Sky.
I think I am, but sometimes I feel like I wish there was more. More alone time. More of a partnership. More...openness with me. I feel like he's afraid to let go and love me back. It's been an agonizing process to open myself up to someone and let them see me. My insecurity, my pain, my scars, everything I hide from everyone else. I let him see all of me, and all I want is the same thing. I want him to let go and free fall with me into this vast unknown space called love.
Anyway, I'm getting mushy.
Keep it real readers.
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