Proving To Be A Problem

Well readers, I lasted three weeks before it started to set in.

Ever since I was a teenager, I haven't been able to diet, because then I start obsessing about the calories I take in, and then I start counting them compulsively, which turns into me eating as few as I possibly can, which eventually takes me back to the place I was in a number of years ago, which I would not like to go back to.

I felt myself start to obsess today, and it scared me.  I have been making so much progress, and I was feeling so great about myself, but I got to work today, I looked in the mirror, and I thought, "Ew, look at that disgusting beast."  That beast was me.

I know I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself, and in the grand scheme of things I am making tremendous progress, but that little voice that plagued me as a teenager just roared at me today.

I guess this is another case of hypoglycemia saving my life.  If I don't eat at regular intervals, I literally lose consciousness.

I just end up hating myself and exercising obsessively.

Time to hit prayer hardcore.  I just have to keep plugging away at life, and I guess avoid mirrors for a few days.

Wish me luck.

Keep it real readers.