Saturday, July 31, 2010

Epiphanies, Kissing, and the L-word.

I spent about 15 hours on the road with my mom yesterday, and while it was my turn to drive my mom decided to take a quick nap, I started thinking. It will be a month tomorrow since I started seeing my redhead kid, and we still haven't kissed. I have to say I'm struggling with being patient in all of this, but I like him. I really like him. I think I might actually feel more than that for him, but to be honest I'm not quite ready to say the next l-word.

Anyway, I thought to myself that feeling the way I do, if I kissed him, life as I knew it would end. Something new would take it's place. What it would be, I'm not sure of. Maybe we'd realize we have no chemistry and that would be it. Or maybe it would be the moment we would realize we couldn't live without each other.

Like I said. Life as I know it would end.

Keep it real readers.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Providing Some Clarification

In three days it will be a month since I started seeing my favorite redhead kid. I think I owe you, my readers, a bit of an explanation as to what this past month entailed:

Week 1: We went on our first date, and spent the following five nights together. He asked me to be his girlfriend over text, to which I responded yes. Six hours later he broke up with me.

What happened: We hit it off a lot better than either of us expected, thus getting swept up in the moment and rushing into something neither of us were sure we were ready for. Was I hurt? Hell yeah. But I felt too much for him to let him go. I knew there was something about him that I had to stick it out for.

Week 2: Tumultuous to say the least. I went to a presentation the day after the breakup, and the whole time I just wanted to cry and yell at him the whole night. I wanted to hurt him back, the way he hurt me. I knew I had succeeded at one point that evening when he brought up something that I had posted and later deleted on Facebook that mentioned something to the effect that involved my thinking he was totally boss. He thanked me for thinking so highly of him. I told him I didn't want to talk about it as I choked back a few tears. I was mad at him, but I still felt that way about him. I couldn't help myself.

What happened: We needed a few days to gain some perspective. I ran into him the following day at Wal-Mart, and all I wanted to do was throw my arms around him, but I didn't. There were a few days of arguing and frustration, and it got worse and worse until I realized that I just needed to relax. I could actually feel how he was feeling, but we were both scared about what we were getting into, and that was getting in the way of actually having something real. After a few days, we got together the night before we both had to go out of town (Me to California, him to North Carolina). That night I knew we were going to be OK. It was only going to get better from here. While watching him demonstrate his karate routine mostly in silhouette from the streetlight down the road, I felt myself falling for him all over again. I gave him my St. Lawrence necklace for luck, and wished the next five days would go by in a flash.

Week 3: The majority of week three took place in the form of text messages. They only got sweeter as the week wore on. I felt a strange, beautiful, warm feeling wash over me. It was soft at first. Then it only became more pronounced.

We got home within an hour of one another, and the next day I saw him, and was met with quite possibly one of the silliest, cutest gifts I've ever received. The day ended up being filled with cute kids, sleepy music, and Costco. Later that night was even better.

Later that week I invited him over for dinner, which was delicious, and later we went bowling with his best friend. I beat him, which shocked me.

I could go on about how our fourth week went on, but we're currently in it, and needless to say, it just keeps getting better.

Keep it real readers.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

In a little deeper than expected...

I'm head over heels.

I'm madly in like.

I'm so into this kid I want to scream and cry tears of joy just thinking about him.

I'm falling for him so much deeper than I thought I would.

I just hope he's falling back...

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Feeling Like Doing Something Stupid

So, it's been about two weeks since my first date with my redhead kid, and in that time we managed to spend 6o% of our nights together, begin holding hands, cuddle on his porch swing, become Facebook official, and then have him freak out that we were moving too fast, step way back from it, and make me super frustrated.

Basically it's been a crazy roller coaster emotion-wise.

I woke up in the foulest mood today regarding him. I have this terrible urge to do something stupid, like cheat on him by going out with someone else and fooling around, and then telling him about it later.

Deep down I don't want to, because I know people move at their own pace, and it's unfair to push someone to move at yours, but things were going fine until he had to freak out on me and make our relationship move even slower than before...if not backwards altogether.

Yikes.

Keep it real readers.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

My Redhead Kid

So, I recently started dating a young man in my singles' ward. He's amazing in every way I can think of. I like everything about him. His red hair, his freckles, the fact that he's totally absorbed in Karate, his voice, his hands, his eyes, his laugh, everything.

I've known him for about a year, but all of a sudden a few weeks ago it came to me that I had to get to know him better. I had to spend time with him.

I'm glad I did.

I haven't felt this happy in a long time.

I just want to hold his hands and count his freckles and play with his hair. I want to play with his arm hair and touch his skin and kiss his knuckles.

He's just so awesome, I can't even stand it.

I'm in like.

Keep it real readers.